is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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