That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
