i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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