This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Will exercising make me less horny?
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