So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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