I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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