I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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