Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
