Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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