I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
