it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
