you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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