I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
