I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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