I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
