Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
