Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
