I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
