I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sext me about skeletons
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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