the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
