yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
