he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
