i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
