I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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