That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
