i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
