I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
