I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize