im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
