He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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