Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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