yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
