Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
