She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
