My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
