i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is my gift to your gina
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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