Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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