If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
