I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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