oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
