So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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