I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
