yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
