I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize