My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
