If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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