saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
