so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
These tits shall not be calmed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
