i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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