That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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