I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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