I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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