mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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