hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
